What if we flipped shame on its head and instead understood its powerful unpleasant effects as sending crucial messages about the health of our connections and our internal-external coherence? Rather than trying to get rid of it, we could listen closely, observe how it operates in ourselves and others, and take risks in challenging its hold on us. The very act of witnessing shame with compassion—whether our own recognition that we are in shame or others seeing and seeking to understand us—gives us initial relief.  

My work with you will aim to bring enough relief through identifying and witnessing your shame triggers and experiences, in order to explore the roots of your shame. This exploration is necessary to dismantle the core beliefs of inadequacy and unlovability that accompany shame and begin to recognize shame as a built-in reflex designed to protect us from alienating ourselves from others and keep us in connection. For more understanding of what shame is, how it operates and how it can be effectively leveraged, check out this video of Professor Matthew Gibson from the University of Birmingham, UK.