Blog: Insights and Resources

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Confusion: An Underappreciated phenomenon

Confusion is confusing. How do we make sense of the experience of confusion? Do we treat it like a feeling, a phenomenon that begins in the body? Or should we approach it from a more intellectual place, using logic and rationality to break it down? Even this attempt to explore

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The Couple Dynamic: What’s Your Role?

As a couples therapist, my first goal in working with couples is to begin to make sense of what is happening between you. Until we all understand what is happening, we cannot begin to determine the deeper underlying causes. From an Emotionally Focused perspective, it is useful to understand the

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Couples Therapy: Shifting from Blame to Compassion

The research on couples therapy and relationships is crystal clear: for successful repair and resolution, each partner must take responsibility for their contribution and role in the dynamic. Taking responsibility reflects a shift from blame to compassion. The shift must occur not only in the context of taking responsibility for

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Finding One’s Way When Lost in a Parenting Power Struggle

When working with parents who are feeling frustrated, bewildered, and sometimes ashamed in relation to their parenting struggles, I will ask them what they wished for in their child before they were born. We talk about the origins of those dreams and longings. This question often opens up a whole

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Addressing Unfairness in Your Relationship

Listening to assertions of unfairness can be a daily occurrence for relationship therapists. Whether it is about household chores, how a decision was made, or how one’s partner reacts to them when angry, feelings of injustice are ubiquitous in close relationships.  At first glance, the concept of fairness can seem

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Navigating Holiday Gatherings

Given all the stressors of the past few years, seeing and connecting with family this holiday season may be a welcome relief. For others, it is an overwhelming and anxiety-inducing prospect. Whatever end of that continuum you fall on, one thing is certain – the pandemic has amplified so much

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