There is an enormous amount of confusion in our culture regarding shame, humiliation, and accountability, with all three being relentlessly conflated. And the costs of this deep misunderstanding are high. As a society we must reckon with what actual responsibility-taking looks like and, for those who aren’t pushed towards taking account of the harm they caused because of their own shamelessness, systems need to be leveraged for that purpose.

As I wrote in my recently published New York Times letter to the editor in response to the Coldplaygate drama, “Expressing glee in the humiliation of others, and concluding that the offenders’ retreat is something to celebrate, as though it will lead to a more just world and fairer outcomes, are not only misguided – they are dangerous.”