Blog: insights from Dr. Keren Sofer

My Approach to Therapy

My approach to psychotherapy is grounded in my belief that we are all doing the best we can at any given moment.  But when our best at a given time falls below our self-expectations, we can be left feeling confused, sad, afraid, angry and ashamed.  My curiosity lies in determining what has interfered in that space between who we want to be and how we are behaving, feeling and thinking in the present.

Often, what has interfered is intimately tied to difficulties in our relationships with family, friends, partners, and colleagues.  As social beings, we are built for connection. We thrive when our needs for connection, affirmation, and recognition are met. Failures in connection, whether due to childhood neglect or abuse, chronic or acute trauma, loss, or other challenges, mean we are on our own, and thus particularly vulnerable to feeling isolated and inadequate. This puts us on the path to experiencing a block in our ability to meet our self-expectations.

My Therapeutic Philosophy

I will pay particular attention to your past and present experiences in relationships.  Attachment theory, which has robust research evidence, guides my attention in this domain.  According to attachment theory our most significant relationships, and our earliest ones, help us construct our understanding of ourselves, others, and the world.  When we have felt heard, and protected by important others, we come to feel safe and good in our lives, thus willing to take important risks. A lack of “felt security” can lead to a sense of self as ineffective and inadequate, and a view of others as dangerous, uncaring, or rejecting. We are not always conscious of the ways the past influences the present or ways various dynamics and roles we play in our relationships are impacting us. That’s where I come in – helping you to explore and illuminate these often invisible forces that shape how we move through the world.

My Commitment as Your Therapist

My goal is to provide a safe and compassionate space for you to develop more self-awareness and understanding.  By making more sense to yourself, and feeling heard and accepted, you will have the potential to increase your ability to heal from past wounds, interact and live more intentionally, and connect with others more authentically.

Get in touch if you would like to learn more or set up a time for a phone consultation.