The research on couples therapy and relationships is crystal clear: for successful repair and resolution, each partner must take responsibility for their contribution and role in the dynamic. Taking responsibility reflects a shift from blame to compassion. The shift must occur not only in the context of taking responsibility for
When working with parents who are feeling frustrated, bewildered, and sometimes ashamed in relation to their parenting struggles, I will ask them what they wished for in their child before they were born. We talk about the origins of those dreams and longings. This question often opens up a whole
Listening to assertions of unfairness can be a daily occurrence for relationship therapists. Whether it is about household chores, how a decision was made, or how one’s partner reacts to them when angry, feelings of injustice are ubiquitous in close relationships. At first glance, the concept of fairness can seem
Given all the stressors of the past few years, seeing and connecting with family this holiday season may be a welcome relief. For others, it is an overwhelming and anxiety-inducing prospect. Whatever end of that continuum you fall on, one thing is certain – the pandemic has amplified so much
When some couples begin the therapy process, they want me to spare them the time, money, and agony of opening up their relationship for examination. If I would just tell them if it will be “worth the effort” then they could decide if they want to engage. They are scared,
Couple therapy is really really hard. Some couples might even call it excruciating at times. Why? Because it means taking the riskiest of risks, opening yourself up to find out the answers to some of these difficult questions: Am I truly loveable? Do I really count and matter to you?
